Confessions of a pre-menopausal doubter

Ok yes.. this is a new topic and seemingly off topic with the usual topics of my blog.  But today, as I was making a mental note to call and schedule an appointment with my OB/GYN, I smiled as I thought, “Ha! I should talk about that on my blog!” I stopped mid guffaw and it struck me, why aren’t I discussing this on my blog?  I talk about diabetes and how it has affected my life, and often discuss various medications I take for a variety of other  medical conditions and don’t think twice about it.  So why does it seem like a joke to discuss the fact that I am peri-menopausal and talk about what is happening to me and my body because of it? Because, I think, of  the stigma about keeping this type of thing to ourselves.  It is a part of each and every woman’s life, regardless of size, age, reproductive ability or race. It is a big part of my life lately, and I feel the need to talk about it. If it isn’t something you care to read about or discuss, please feel free to point your browser to Facebook, or TMZ or Wikipedia.. wherever you would prefer to do your reading. I certainly don’t wish to offend anyone.  With THAT said…

Several years ago, my doctor mentioned to me the possibility that I was peri-menopausal.  It was such a shock to me!  I thought that only women approaching their 50’s dealt with these things and because I was around 37 years old at the time – the thought never even occurred to me.  Yes, I was having symptoms typical of menopause: night sweats, hot flashes, sleep disturbances and even memory issues such as difficulty recalling names or specific instances.  But surely I had some type of disease, NOT menopause!  It is funny that my mind would rather entertain the notion that I have some disease that would affect less than 1% of the population, rather than accepting that it could be something that happens to every single woman in the world at some point in their lives. Because of other symptoms I had at the time, the doctor ordered a CT scan from my collar-bone down to my tailbone.  When they found a cyst on one of my ovaries, I told myself that it was the cause of the menopausal symptoms. Even when my doctor said that it wasn’t that type of cyst, I still blamed it for the changes in my body.  After a series of vaginal sonograms, the cyst disappeared.  But my symptoms persisted.  I rejected the doctor’s offer of hormone therapy, and he did his best to quell my fears of the side effects I heard about from other women.  But I still chose to decline taking the medications.  It was, in part, due to the fact that I already had 14 prescriptions, but mainly it was because the little voice in the back of mind still doubted the menopause diagnosis.

In February of this year, I had my last menstrual cycle. My doctor asked me to wait until 6 months had passed since the last cycle before coming in for blood work, so I have an appointment in September. After the results come in, I could have a definitive answer, depending of course on other factors.  Maybe having concrete medical proof will convince me, and I might even be persuaded to look into hormone replacement therapy. But my biggest fears are the changes that are still to come.  I am not upset about the inability to conceive, the loss of body hair, the dry skin, or the lack of menstrual cycles – but the decrease in sexual desire, changes to the pelvic floor, and weakening of my bones. Since I have no control over these things, I choose to focus on the more pleasant aspects of this time in my life. I actually enjoy no longer having monthly cycles (and all that entails!) and less body hair means less shaving, waxing, plucking etc. And the inability to reproduce means that very soon I can abstain from any form of birth control. (I will wait for the doctor’s explicit permission for that one!)

So yes, my body is changing.  And yes, it is a sign that I am growing older.  But am I not also wiser?  Stronger? Happier? I am certainly better informed. So for now I will concentrate on the things that I can control, and the things that I find appealing. I will leave the worrying to my doctor, after all that is what I pay him for.

 

 

For those in my area seeking an OB/GYN, I highly recommend Dr. David Morehead of Waxahachie Womens Health in Waxahachie, Texas. He is a board certified DO (Doctor of  Osteopathic Medicine) and is not only thorough and highly capable, but compassionate, attentive and immediately puts his patients at ease.

Midlife and Menopause offers a comprehensive look at the journey into menopause and the symptoms and effects it has on our bodies: http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/chapter.asp?id=26&gclid=CLmrxILI5bECFULktgodN3IAkg